The Experience of Accepting the Judgment and Punishment of the Word of God

I was a very arrogant and self-right person. I always did the work by relying on my quality and my imagination. I had no place for God in my heart and simply paid no attention to God’s requirements or the work arrangements. Having been exposed and dealt with and pruned by God, and having been inspired and enlightened by God, I finally saw my arrogant innate nature and fell down before God.

When I first took charge of the work, I felt from the bottom of my heart that God had uplifted me, so I decided to make an all-out effort to do the work well. Especially in the face of the gospel work, I had already had a plan for it in my heart: I will first establish the first-line team, then train its members, and then let the first-line team train the second-line team…. In this way, a gospel-preaching team will gradually come into being so that we can open up the gospel work in our working area as soon as possible. Immediately I started to carry out my plan. At that time, I had already put aside the word from above: “Mobilize the brothers and sisters and let every brother and sister rise to preach the gospel.” I always thought, “The brothers and sisters here are all new believers with little experience in preaching the gospel. Without being trained, how can they preach the gospel effectively?” Therefore, I didn’t lay stress on the gospel work of the churches at all. Consequently, no progress had been made in the gospel work in my working area all along; and later the result ranked the last among all the working areas. During that period of time, many brothers and sisters, who were in charge of the work as I was, said that the main reason for my failure was that I had not mobilized the brothers and sisters in the churches to preach the gospel. But I obstinately held on to the notion “the brothers and sisters in our place are new believers with no experience in preaching the gospel.” Right at that time, the leader sent a note to me, which read: “You lay no stress on the gospel work. You have held up the work seriously. Your service is exactly the same as that of the failures in the past. If you still lay no stress on the gospel work, you will be replaced….” Only then did I realize the seriousness of the problem. So, I calmed down and prayed to God: “O God, I have done so much in the gospel work, but why has there been no result achieved all along? Is what I did against your intention? What mistake have I made? I am willing to quiet my heart before you and seek your intention. May you guide me.” After praying, I took the book of God’s word, and read these words: “You serve God by your natural disposition and according to your own preferences, yet you always believe that what you desire is what God is pleased with and what you do not desire is what God loathes and do the work completely according to your own preferences. Are you serving God? … If people who serve God serve him according to their disposition and their own will, they may be eliminated at any time.” And then in “The Issues of the Principles People Must Understand in Serving God” in The Manual of the Principles for the Church Work, I read these words: “To do the work of serving God is not to do the work of your own but to do the work God has committed to you. So, in doing the work committed by God, you must do it according to God’s requirements; only in this way can you satisfy God’s heart’s desire. … If you do the work of God’s family according to your own ideas, you will definitely frustrate God’s work and can never achieve the results God requires. Then won’t you become one who serves God and yet resists God?” Guided by God’s words and the work arrangement, I saw my arrogance and my self-rightness. Thinking back to everything I did and the warning of the brothers and sisters, I realized I was so arrogant and self-right that I had no place for God in my heart at all. I also saw that I was not serving God but resisting God’s work according to my own ideas. Even more, I saw the dangerous consequences of my serving in such a way. I fell down before God in shame: “O God, only through your exposing, dealing, and pruning have I gained some knowledge of myself. I have seen that I have been doing things all according to my disposition and my own will, and that I have no regard for your arrangements at all. I am really too arrogant. How can I be counted as one who serves you? I simply have no place for you in my heart! O God, I am willing to be submissive to you and do the work according to your requirements and the work arrangements.”

After that, I began to correct the viewpoint of the brothers and sisters according to the work arrangements. One month later, the result of the gospel work improved miraculously, and it ranked from the last to the first among all the working areas. At that time, the brothers and sisters in various places all phoned me and asked what secrets I had for my improvement. At the moment, however, I felt extreme agony and great remorse, and I fell down before God again: “O God, because of my arrogance, self-rightness, and disobedience, what a great loss I have caused your work to suffer! How many souls have been caused to lose the opportunities to be saved! How can I make compensation for such a loss? O God, all this was caused by my disobedience. In future, I will do the work strictly according to your work arrangements, and try to be a person who serves you honestly, and complete your commission to me. O God, may you often expose me, deal with me, and prune me, so that I can soon become one who is fit for your use and thus satisfy your heart’s desire.”

Xiao Ye

Shijiazhuang City, Hebei Province