The Experience of Accepting the Judgment and Punishment of the Word of God

When I heard that a co-worker of mine whom I especially looked up to in the past was expelled because of his offense against God’s nature, I felt very sorry in my heart and couldn’t help complaining for him: He started to follow God when he was still in his teens and has followed continuously up to the present time; over all these years, he has undergone so many sufferings. But God’s family expelled him despite all this. How…. At that time, I had a kind of unspeakable pain in my heart, feeling as if God were very merciless and inconsiderate to do so. But I also realized that such a thought of mine was wrong and that I should not have such a misunderstanding about God. So, I prayed to God: “O God! I know it is not right for me to have such a thought, but I cannot come out of such a state. May you inspire and guide me.” Then, God inspired me: You always view matters from man’s perspective; why can’t you view matters from the standpoint of God? You only see that he has undergone many sufferings over the years; why can’t you see how high a price God has paid for him in these years? Today, he could do such a thing that shamed God’s name; where is his conscience? He received such retribution; isn’t it what he deserved? Under the inspiration of God, I felt ashamed of myself: Yes! Why don’t I view the matter from the standpoint of God? Has God paid little for him in these years? How should he have done such a thing? He really badly shamed God’s name and deserved to be expelled indeed. Gradually, my heart calmed down.

Later, I read these words of God: “Over so many years, I have been giving to people all along. However, all that I have gotten are two empty hands. Who has ever given to me? Are the painstaking care expended and price paid by me all the cloud and mist among the mountains?” “… Who can understand God’s eager heart? The return for God’s fervent heart and ardent expectations is actually cold hearts, is pairs of unfeeling eyes, … is man’s misunderstandings, complaints, estrangement, and shunning, is all deceptions, is all disappointment, and is all bitter fruits….” “When I see that man always deceives God, always has no determination, or sets his mind on the flesh, or vies for fame and wealth and sets himself up, how can my heart not be extremely grieved? Why is man so insensible? Could it be that what I do hasn’t achieved any results? Supposing your children are all sons of disobedience, are not filial to you, and all have no conscience, only taking care of themselves, never showing solicitude for your heart, and kicking you out of the gate of the house after they have grown up; at this time, what frame of mind will you be in? Won’t you be all tears, recalling the painstaking care expended and price paid by you to bring them up?” Reading God’s words, I was in full tears. O God! You have expended so much painstaking care and have paid so much price for us. However, we are unable to testify about you or glorify your holy name. Someone has done a matter that shamed your name and was punished by you; isn’t this that he got deserved punishment? But, I made complaints about this and never tried to understand your feelings. Where is my conscience? Am I still a believer in you? Who has ever understood your painstaking care and attention? Who has ever understood your feelings of grief? I only know to show consideration for man’s sufferings and feelings of grief, but I have never thought of how much painstaking care you have expended and how much price you have paid to perfect a person, and how you feel about this person. When a person falls, how disappointed and pained you will feel! O God! I have so seriously misunderstood your intention. I am willing to take warning from this matter, summarize and learn the lessons of this failure, and do my utmost to pursue to be one who cares for your intention.

Li Jie

Shijiazhuang City, Hebei Province